


Kitchen Items I thru VII

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-31
Updated: 2001-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 15:48:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: nah





	Kitchen Items I thru VII

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Kitchen Items: A snippet by Bertie

Title: Kitchen Items: A snippet  
Author: Bertie  
Fandom: XF  
Date: 6/27/01  
Series: nope  
E-Mail:   
Rating: PG?  
Category: Snippet  
Archive: sure  
Summary: nah  
Warnings: hmm nah  
Disclaimer: Kitchen items? 

* * *

"What was it they said we would like to use?"

"Hmm...well, Elaine said a spatula for Walter."

"A spatula? What, to spank us?"

"Probably."

"Cross that one out."

"Right with you..." Alex stuck his tongue out as he bent and crossed that item out. "But look at this--tooth picks?? What in the world? The splinters alone..."

"Shit, better cross that out before someone gets a bright idea."

"Ok."

"What's the other items?"

"Well, seems this Jess person, who claims she isn't a writer, though I have a feeling she may have some writing ability lurking in her somewhere...says, um...and I quote 'Umm, oven mitts, pastry brush, vegetable scrubber, and of course, a turkey baster....You guys are the writers- think of the uses!'"

"Turkey baster? Isn't that what they use to impregnate women?"

"Yup. Crossing that puppy out."

"Hmm, oven mitts...what, as some industrial strength condom? What the fuck? That would hurt like a mother fuck."

Alex shrugs his shoulders. "I have no clue, babe."

"Hmm, now pastry brush may have some possibilities!" Mulder smirked at Alex.

"Oh fuck no, I pee whenever you guys tickle me, you know that!"

"Oh shit, that's right! Walter was so pissed when he had to get a new couch from when you pissed all over it!"

"Well, I told you to stop but no, mister tickler!"

"Hmm, well, good thing I wasn't using the French Tickler."

Alex snorted. "Yeah."

What was that other item?"

"A vegetable scrubber."

Mulder paused. "Are they like brushes or like dishcloths?"

"I don't know."

"Well, if it's a brush, then maybe Walter can use it to spank us."

"I thought he was going to use the spatula."

"We crossed that item off."

"Oh yeah.but you know if they had said kitchen appliances then that I could understand."

"Appliances? What, like a blender?"

"Ouch! No, I was thinking of a dishwasher."

"Dishwasher?"

"Oh yeah, especially the one with the rollers on them. They hum right up your spine while your being fucked, it's amazing!"

"And when did you ever experience that?"

Alex blushed. "Oh, long time ago, long before I met you."

"Uh huh. Didn't I see the dishwasher moved out the other day?"

"Walter was cleaning out from behind it, I swear."

Mulder shook his head. "Yeah, I believe you."

"Well, its not as if you haven't had your share of Walter when I wasn't around, Mulder."

"Since when?"

"Since when you were under Walter's desk the whole time you were supposed to be abducted from those aliens!"

"How do you know that?" 

"You've forgotten already? I relieved you whenever you needed to go take a break. I mean, there are just so many hours in a day a person can suck cock."

Mulder snorted. "You are so right, brother."

"Mulder, this isn't Simon and Simon."

"Oh yeah. Well, you know the author.she's always saying Incest is Best."

"Hey, maybe you shouldn't mention her, you know how she hates Mary Sues."

"Oh that's right, she can't stand them."

They paused looking at each other sheepily when suddenly the front door opened and there stood Walter wearing goggles and a tool belt loaded with power tools.

"Hot damn! Now if they had said power tools."

And with that they proceeded to make hot monkey love.

The End

 

* * *

 

Kitchen Items: The Condiments   
by Bertie   
()

* * *

Walter came into the kitchen and was shocked to find Mulder covered in mayonnaise. 

"Mulder, is this some sort of unusual experiment I should know about?" he asked warily, not sure if he would like any answer he would get.

"Walter, Alex and I *are* doing an experiment. Seems like the listies prefer condiments to implements, and I thought it would be fun to try it," came the reply.

"Uh huh...and where is Alex?"

"Well, he sorta tripped and fell when the olive oil splashed on the floor..."

"Is he all right?!"

"Well, yes, he is just taking a shower..."

"And the reason you aren't joining him?"

"Um...I don't really know..."

Walter grabbed Mulder's hand and pulled him along to the bathroom, kicking his shoes and pants off as best he could...

The End

 

* * *

 

This is actually quite different than I had originally planned. Go figure.

Kitchen Items: The Dessert by Bertie  
Email:   
Rating: NC-17  
Category: PWP  
Archive: Why certainly  
Warning: For this one snippet Krycek has two arms:) Also, no beta, so of course you know who to blame<eg>

* * *

Krycek pulled out a box of Chocolate Cherry Jubilee ice cream from the freezer. He hadn't tried it yet but Skinner had bought it for him and told him about it. 

Mulder came in a few minutes later then paused, hearing soft moans coming in from the kitchen. His cock twitched, recognizing Alex's voice. He walked quietly to the kitchen, wondering if Skinner and Krycek had decided to fuck on the kitchen cabinet as they had said they were going to. Maybe they would let him participate if he didn't startle them.

He peered in and was quite nicely surprised but not shocked that Krycek, alone, was caressing a pert nipple while his other hand was caressing his cock. He grinned wickedly then moved up to the moaning man and kissed the inviting parted lips. He tasted chocolate, cherries, and Alex's own unique flavor and he moaned at the blended flavors. 

"What have you been eating?" he murmured against the soft lips. 

Before Krycek replied, he swiped his tongue across Mulder's mouth, "Chocolate cherry jubilee ice cream. I think Walter is asking for a very sweet present when he comes home tonight."

Mulder turned his head just a bit, trying not to remove his mouth too far from Alex's, and saw the opened box of ice cream slightly melted sitting in the sink. 

He picked up the spoon sitting on the counter and tried some. He moaned as he let it melt down his throat.

"Fuck, no wonder you were jerking off."

Alex pressed his tongue into Mulder's mouth before he could say anymore. 

"This stuff should be banned from small children and some adults!" 

"Guess that means you, Alex." quipped Mulder.

Alex snorted. "Yeah, but that wouldn't stop me."

Mulder laughed. "I bet it wouldn't." He picked up the box and looked at it closely. "Where did he get this? It doesn't even have a label on it."

"I don't know and I don't care," pouted Alex, wanting to continue his masturbation session. And if it meant alone, so be it. He rubbed his hard on against Mulder's Armani suit to make a point. Mulder's hand reached down to stroke the other man as he grabbed another quick bite of the ice cream. He then shared it with Alex as he continued pumping his arm, causing the younger man to pant into his mouth.

"I think it tastes better like this," Alex sighed just before swiping his tongue against Mulder's lips.

"Hmm, me too." Mulder began, and then moved a bit to get another bite. Instead of kissing Alex as he had hoped, Mulder swooped down and swiped his wet, cold tongue across a very hard nipple. Alex groaned.

"Damn, do that again!"

Mulder complied but on the other one. Alex's hand grasped Mulder's hair, pressing the older man's face to his chest.

Large hands came over Mulder's head and pulled Alex even closer and Mulder could feel a large hard body pressed against his own. Walter had come home.

Walter kissed the dazed looking Alex then pulled Mulder up from sucking on a very pert and pink nipple to nibble on those kiss swollen lips.

"So this is what I come home to? My lovers debauched in the kitchen?" he purred against Mulder's lips.

Mulder nodded. "Yep, this ice cream is quite yummy." Grabbing another bite then offering some to Walter who took a taste after hesitating a moment.

"Where did you get this stuff, Walter? It's amazing!"

"Well, I know someone who makes ice cream and he wanted me to try it out."

"It's all natural ingredients right?" 

"Yeah. But with an added ingredient not normally put in ice cream."

"What?" both his lovers asked in unison, curiosity taking a first seat at the moment to their lust.

Walter smirked. "An aphrodisiac."

"A what?!" cried Mulder. "Do you know how dangerous aphrodisiacs are?"

"Relax, Mulder. It is a very natural herb and it isn't harmful in the amounts that Phil used. Anyway, he tested it himself. Then told me how affectionate his wife was that night," Walter explained with a grin on his face.

Mulder shook his head. "Who is this Phil, Walter? I think I need to have this stuff tested-" 

"Not now you aren't." Walter's big hand caressed the half hard erection in Mulder's pants. Mulder moaned.

"All right, but afterwards." Walter thrust his tongue down Mulder's throat as Alex helped to open both his lovers' pants.

The End

 

* * *

 

Title: The Breakfast or A Nose Knows  
Author: Bertie  
Pairing: M/Sk/K  
Date: 7/22/01  
Series: The Kitchen Series  
E-Mail:   
Rating: PG-13  
Category: PWP  
Archive: Sure  
Warnings: Silliness abounds  
Disclaimer: Not mine sadly  
Notes: In honor of the talk of noses on the slashingmulder list and Andrea's lovely limerick and her upcoming birthday:)

* * *

Mulder snorted awake and felt trapped under a great weight. He struggled, suddenly wondering why he woke up like this more often than not lately. The reason groaned in protest and mumbled something before slowly rolling off of the slightly squashed agent.

Mulder sat up and stared down at the lump of man lying crumpled beside him. Why Alex had this desire to sleep atop him lately, he couldn't figure. Some need to have a body pillow perhaps? Did his mother let him sleep with her like that when he was a baby? Mulder shuddered at the thought, not wanting to be a mother substitute, even if his lover was younger and adorable. Then he snorted, well that would make Skinner his father.Maybe that wouldn't be too bad, he thought, liking the scenario of playing mommy to Skinner as daddy.

He rose from the bed, trying not to disturb the lump and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and gargle. He peed, and then washed his hands. When he returned to the bedroom, Alex had not moved. He scratched his belly, suddenly wondered why there was not a sticky mess there like normal and then remembered what had happened last night. Walter had been the bottom for a change. He pondered for a moment then realized that he had not heard the big man leave, in fact he wondered where he was at the moment. 

He looked over at the still lump and smiled, a devilish look came over his face and he reached over and thumped the elfin ear.

"OW!" cried the younger man, waking up reluctantly with a scowl. "What the fuck was that all about??"

"Hey remembered the last time Walter was the bottom?"

"Huh?" asked the man sleepily, his eyes still droopy.

Mulder had a sudden desire to leap on the man and take instant advantage of his sexy pout. After a second of hesitation he gave in and leapt.

The futile little girly squeal only inflamed his desire and he began to kiss and pinch his sleepy lover all over. 

Finally awake, the younger man took charge, flipping the lanky man over onto his back and effectively pinning him to the mattress. He bent and licked the agent's nose and then nibbled the end. He pulled back to look at the wonderful flushed face, and murmured, "You were saying?"

Mulder grinned, looking up at Alex through his lashes. "Walter gets very motherly and cooks one of those large family breakfasts?"

A gleam came into Alex's green eyes and he grinned back. "Oh yeah, with slapjacks and bacon, eggs, grits, and ham?"

"Come on, lets go see." the man beneath him replied.

The younger man jumped off him and the bed in a single bound and Mulder followed him. They were about to run when Alex held them back, deciding instead to go slowly, hoping to savor the experience of coming upon the feast awaiting them.

They entered the kitchen and saw their burly man standing obtusely behind a wall of newspaper, reading while sipping some coffee. There was nary a particle of breakfast anywhere to be seen.

They stared in shock, not believing what they were seeing.

"W-Walter." Mulder began, trying hard not to sound like a little hurt boy after learning there really wasn't a fat man called Santa living in bliss up at the North Pole.

He pulled the paper down a bit and quirked a brow at his two nude lovers.

"Yes, Fox?"

"Um, why-"

"Why didn't you cook us breakfast like you usually do?" Alex interrupted, genuinely miffed.

"My therapist told me I shouldn't be predictable," came the indifferent reply.

"What?" the boys chorused.

"You don't have a therapist, Walter!" growled Alex, impatient.

"I did."

"When was that?"

"Oh, um <mumble mumble>"

"What was that?"

"When I was married to Sharon," he glared at them, defying them to say a word.

"Any you are just know implementing it all of the sudden?" grumbled Alex, highly ticked.

"Wait a minute." Mulder cried, turning to look at the drain and noticing a pan sitting suspiciously there. "What is this doing here?"

"Seems to be sitting there quietly, Mulder. Did you expect it to do a jig?"

"I don't believe you for one minute!" he turned and looked around, and then finally opened the oven door. "What is this then, mister?!" 

Walter looked down at the evidence sitting in the oven remaining warm awaiting his lovers' appearance.

"Well, you should have followed your nose, Fox. It always knows."

Both nude men tackled their lover and tickled him into submission before grabbing the food and wolfing it down.

THE END

 

* * *

 

Title: Kitchen Series: Late Brunch Sunday  
Author: Bertie  
Pairing: M/Sk/K  
Rating: NC-17  
Series: The Kitchen  
Feedback:   
Archive: Please do:)  
Notes: For Ursula and the Sk/K anniversary. Not beta'd but Vyper did read some of it as I typed;) To find more of this series please go to my website the amazing Vyper has set up for me: http://www.geocities.com/vyper001/BertiesFics/Kitchen.htm

* * *

Walter was in the kitchen sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. Mulder came in looking like something the cat dragged in and flopped on the chair next to Walter's. He blearily looked over at the man quietly reading and drinking, ignoring him completely. 

'Smug asshole,' thought Mulder then lifted one long foot and began to do an impomptu lap dance with it. 

The newspaper was put down and an eyebrow rose at Mulder. "You have my attention, Mulder. What do you want?"

Mulder grinned at him then shrugged and continued to play by slowly moving his ankle back and forth. 'Walter must be a fucking brick wall,' Mulder thought. 'Not a single twitch in the boxer shorts.' He sighed heavily and pulled his foot from out of the pit of Walter's crotch.

Alex came bumbling into the kitchen later, he bent and kissed Walter thickly. Then wandered over to Mulder and sat on his lap to snuggle. Walter continued to read his paper in silence, pointedly ignoring the two in their embrace.

Alex sighed contentedly then his stomach growled. Both boys' eyes looked longingly at the newspaper that pointedly covered Walter's face. The newspaper slowly moved downward and Walter looked at the pitiful sight before him. Walter sighed heavily then rose and began to pour coffee for his boys. They eagerly accepted the coffee and began to drink so he went over and started to make some toast and eggs.

Mulder looked at Alex then nodded his head at Walter. Alex nodded back so they rose and began to help the big guy make breakfast. Soon they were all seated at the table eating breakfast heartily. Mulder surreptitiously glanced over at Walter now and then, feeling like he should say something.

Alex caught the look and snorted at Mulder who glared at Alex and before long they were sneering at each other and Walter had sat back to watch the exchange. The two stopped, realizing that Walter had crossed his arms and was watching them. Alex winced when he turned to look at the big guy.

Walter, who they knew was in a foul mood since last night, was not looking at all happy with them. Mulder quickly turned back to his food and began to eat. Alex decided playing was a better idea, so he rose and sat right on Walter's lap and began to kiss the scowl away. Soon the big guy was returning kisses enthusiastically and Alex began to purr. 

Mulder grinned, looking at the two. When Alex purred that usually meant he was going to get fucked and soon. This was always good because it set a precedence of general fucking all around.

Alex was rubbing himself up against the big guy, loving the feeling of the hardening cock in the boxer shorts caressing his own BVD clothed one. When Walter's large paws covered his ass, pressing him closer, Alex sighed contentedly. 

Mulder, getting jealous and lonely, went over to the pair and murmured hotly, "Can I join in?" 

Without waiting for an answer, he sat right behind Alex on the long trunk like legs of Walter. He nudged his growing erection against Walter's knuckles as they kneeded Alex's pert rump. A hand pulled away from Alex's rear to rub sensuously against Mulder's bulge. The high pitched moans alerted the owner of the hand the success of such a move. The hand opened the slit of the underwear and began to pull out the quickly hardening cock. 

Alex canted his hips, hoping to get the feel of both hands on his ass again, when his undies were pulled down and a hard warm object was pressed against his ass. A low keening began in his throat when he felt the head nudge his crack. Mulder knew Alex was still quite prepared from last night, so he slowly entered, feeling his desire increase as Alex began to moan. At the same time, Walter's big hands moved between his and Alex's body and began to jerk them off at the same time, pressing their cocks together. Mulder was having a time trying to rock in and out of Alex without falling off Walter's legs. On shaking legs he gained purchase of the floor at just the right angle and thrust deeply into Alex who cried out and came in Walter's hand. Mulder thrust a few more times before he came into the tightening hole then he heard Walter groan his release just as Mulder collapsed against Alex's back.

They sat there for a long moment, waiting for their breathing and their pulse rate to lessen. Mulder rose shakily then Alex did, wetting his BVDs as he pulled them up. Walter rose and kicked the stiffness out of his legs then sat back down and pulled one then the other back onto one of his legs. He pressed his boys to him and murmured, "Have anything to say to me?"

Alex sighed. "We are sorry, Walter. We shouldn't have started without you..."

"You should have at least waited an hour before beginning..."

Mulder groaned. "I know but you try to wait when Alex sucks you through your shorts!"

Walter snorted, feeling there was no way he was going to win that argument. He had been quite miffed after calling in to tell his boys that he would probably be 2 hours late then coming home to find them both sleeping soundly after fucking each other senseless. He would just have to learn better next time. He should never let them know he was late, that way they would keep away from each other out of worry. His eyes twinkled and the boys misinterpreted it and began to kiss and play with their big man.

The End

 

* * *

 

Title: Kitchen Series: Late Night Snack  
Author: Bertie  
Pairing: M/Sk/K  
Rating: NC-17  
Feedback:   
Archive: Please do:)  
Notes: For Elaine on her birthday:) Not betad. All mistakes my own.

* * *

Skinner heard something. He turned to see if Alex was lying beside him. He was. Mulder had been on a case that took him from them for the past few days. He wasn't expected back until the next evening.

There it was again. A definite noise that didn't belong. Skinner quietly left the bed, hoping not to waken Alex who looked so beautiful snoring and drooling gently on his pillow after being fucked into the mattress just a few hours before.

He quietly moved toward the bedroom door that was left open thankfully. He paused, knowing there were certain floor boards in the hall floor that squeaked. He tried his best to remember which ones as he tentatively took a step in the hall.

"Screek." He cursed himself and took another step, "screek." 'Fuck, damn, shit, fuck' he growled in his mind. "Screek." 'That's it!! I am replacing all the floorboards in the hall tomorrow, if I live that is!!' he screamed to himself.

He sighed as softly as he could and wanted to beat himself about the head. His sigh was louder than the squeaks had been. He froze and then wanted to howl. He forgot his gun. He was standing in the hall completely naked and he forgot his gun. 'Just great, Einstein. Whatcha going to stop the perp with? Your dick?'

He couldn't NOT go ahead. So he took another tentative step toward the stairs and nearly sighed out loud in relief. He caught himself just in time and was silently cursing the whole way down even though there wasn't another squeak.

He noticed that there was light coming from the living room. It was the tv but he couldn't hear any sound. Just then he saw a shape from the sofa get up and moved toward the kitchen. It was definitely Mulder shaped.

'The brat has come home and is watching a late night ball game on tv instead of waking us up and telling us.' He pouted then realized that probably was a good idea because he wasn't always cheerful when woken up in the middle of the night.

He moved toward the kitchen. He peered in. He nearly gasped aloud. There presenting his ass in all it's glory, was Mulder buck naked but for his socks, rummaging in the fridge.

He quickly moved up behind Mulder and used the one thing he knew would get the other man's attention. His rising cock thrust just so against the sweet curves of ass.

Mulder yelped in surprise, standing up, but moaned when Skinner's hand began pinching pert nipples.

*****

Upstairs, Krycek woke, wondering where Walter was. He rose and padded to the hallway. He stepped over the squeaky floor boards and padded downstairs. The light from the tv did not hinder his beeline to the kitchen. He snickered at what he saw before him. With just the light of the fridge illuminating the scene, he could clearly see Walter fucking Mulder roughly against the open fridge door.

Alex, never one to miss an opportunity, moved up behind Walter and breathed, "Ready for me?"

He then thrust his fingers into the older man, getting nothing but a moan and grunt.Without further prep, he thrust into the welcoming ass and moaned before biting on the big man's shoulder.

Mulder, in the meantime, was very happy his and Walter's hands were keeping his cock from freezing off by their mutual motions. Walter cried out as Alex kept hitting his prostate and he came into the tight heat of Fox. The younger man shortly followed as their manipulations of his cock was proving too much for him. They both nearly slumped against the fridge but Alex kept them up as he continued to pound into the big guy's ass.

Walter began to protest as the younger man was taking an inordinate amount of time to cum, so he squeezed just so, making Alex howl and shoot. Walter and Fox both sighed in contentment as Alex slumped against the older man's back.

"Welcome home, Fox," moaned Alex after he caught his breath.

"It would be much better if my dick wasn't freezing."

Alex snickered then moved off the older man who move off Fox and they finally were able to shut the fridge door. Alex turned on the kitchen light and they all blinked at the brightness. They moved together and hugged each other tightly, kissing and murmuring endearments before turning out the kitchen light and the tv and going to bed.

The End

 

* * *

 

Title: Kitchen Series: Christmas Turkey  
Author: Bertie  
Pairing: M/Sk/K  
Rating: NC-17  
Date: 12/13/01  
Feedback:   
Archive: Please do:)  
Notes: For Mich, my supercalifragilisticexpiolidotious beta:) Hope this lives up to a threesome fic for your Christmas pressie. Merry Christmas. Not betad. All mistakes my own.

* * *

Walter and Alex entered into the condo after a very refreshing walk after being in several hundred stores trying to find the best Christmas present for Mulder. They still remained clueless. The guy seemed to have everything he needed. What to get someone like that?

They noticed that the person ever present on their minds was not in the living room as they suspected. Usually he would be watching some game since it was the perfect time for viewing sports. The tv was unusually quiet and dark. They shrugged at each other, putting up their coats, scarves and gloves. Unspoken, they both went upstairs to see if the missing man in their life was upstairs. The bed was made, and not a clue of evidence that anyone had been in here since they had made it that morning. The shower wasn't running but they looked in the bathroom, just in case. Nothing. They looked in the spare bedroom, thinking Mulder may have become mopey because Walter and Alex had been spending alot of time together. Nothing there either. They were both about to think he had gone somewhere and probably dangerous for him when they looked at each other and smiled. They hadn't checked one place yet.

It seemed strange though that Mulder would be in the kitchen without at least the tv blaring. But until they looked, they wouldn't jump to conclusions that he had run off on back. Was he hiding in order to scare them? Seemed too childish even for Mulder.

They entered the kitchen nonchalantly, hoping that they would at least pretend to be surprised when he jumped out at them but instead they were in fact surprised, but pleasantly so, by what they found there.

Somehow, they had no real clue as how yet. Mulder had been bound by his hands and feet to the table. Totally nude. He was trussed up like a turkey. His two front wings were tied together and pulled up above his head. His legs were spread wide, exposing his assets well. His feet were on either corner of the table, lying flat against it and tied by the ankles to the legs of the table.Walter was very glad the table was of solid oak. Surely whoever put him in such a position had it in for him. It couldn't have been comfortable. Especially with a butt plug on one end and an apple stuffed in his mouth. It could explain why he hadn't made a noise, plus the fact that he seemed to be asleep.

They looked at each other curiously, trying to decide whether to untie him or not. Alex went to the head of the table and Walter stayed at the foot. Alex reached over just as Walter did and they both pulled out the apple and plug at the same time. They were beginning to feel a bit like Pandora.

Mulder woke from being pulled on. He blinked into the light and smiled at his lovers as best he could.

"Mulder...what in the hell..."

"Hey, Scully did say you would be the one to pull my plug," he grinned at Walter, shaking his rear.

Alex laughed, moving back toward the end of the table. "Scully did this to you and you LET her?"

"It was my idea..." he began.

Walter snorted. "Obviously, Mulder. I don't think Scully would have thought up such a thing."

Mulder pouted. "Hey, I couldn't come up with anything for you two. You have everything! So, I thought, what about me on the table, ready to be stuffed."

"Oh, a gift that gives you something too, I see."

Mulder grinned. "That's the best kind!"

They couldn't argue with him there. They began pulling off their clothes, doing little strip teases which had Mulder's cock rising. It was only then did they see that his cock had a bow attached. Alex laughed out loud.

"Scully put a bow on your cock?"

"No, I did."

He pouted again. "Hey I wanted to give you both something nice..."

"Very nice, Mulder," Walter began, and Mulder knew he was trying to keep his laughter in check.

He looked sullen for a moment and sighed. "Come on and stuff this turkey already, would you?"

Alex and Walter looked at each other for a moment. Then grinned. They didn't do this often but this seemed like the best time to do it. Walter put his cock against Mulder's anus and pushed in. Mulder was well lubed and he slipped right in. Mulder sighed with delight. Alex found the lube on the kitchen cabinet and slicked his cock. He moved up beside Walter, kissed him, then began to nudge his cock along side Walter's.

"Oh, god...yesss," Mulder hissed.

They slowly started a rhythm in and out. One pulled out a bit and the other did as well, then one would push in a bit then the other, sending Mulder in a frenzy.

"Come on, guys...do me!" he managed.

They leaned in, bracing themselves, then began to thrust harder into Mulder and more synchronous, running their cocks deliciously over the trussed up man's prostate. Mulder felt like his head would explode when they came.

"Oh, please, please, please," he begged.

They thought he meant go faster, and that is what they did. Mulder cried out. The cock on his bow untied from the strain and he burst all over his belly. They held still as he clenched down delicously. Sweat covered them and they realized it was from more than just their exhertions. The stove was on and was heating up the room rather well.

"Mulder, you prepared the turkey? You shouldn't have."

When Mulder's brain came down from off the roof, he shook his head. "Scully did. That is why she was over here."

They snorted. Figures. Then proceeded to pound into the now lucid man until they both came inside their stuffed turkey.

The end

  
Archived: December 29, 2001 


End file.
